unwelcome person...

weird title hah?but is true...coz i'm the unlucky 1...y do i say so?mayb is juz my own problem...it should b i think...ok...lets start the story..i took the acca course with my best fren...we joined the same class..coz his frens got some trouble...so they went into another class...i choose to stay with him as my exclassmates r all in a group...from tht moments onwards...my nightmare had started...well..i don know its unlucky or lucky...lucky becoz i have a love at 1st sight with my classmate...n then...i discover she has a bf...haha...funny...well..this is not important anymore as i already give up..i juz wanna know she is happy with her bf...or anything..thts all i wanna see...back to the story...our semester almost finish n we got to know most of our classmates...but...i don think the classmates like me...i can feel tht..or sense tht...they like my fren more than me...well...as i say from the beginning...is juz my own problem...stupid...i think becoz of jealousy...haiz...y i say tht they don like me?for example...it happened juz few days ago...we planned to go out n eat after class...so my fren n i going to drive...almost all of them wanna sit his car...we actually reached my fren's car before mine...everybody like wanna squeeze into his car...nobody follow me to my car...isn't it sad when u see this scene?when they know they cant squeeze in..they walked to my car sadly...disppointed...after the meal...some of them went to buy somthing...n i asked who wanna sit my car go out 1st...coz still got place...n they cant squeeze in anymore...they like rather stand...don feel like getting into my car...the situation really sucks...luckly my jiejie who sit my car reached...n she juz get in..if not...i really don know wat to do...haiz...am i tht bad?unwelcome?tht make every1 hate me?some of them even show me their angry face...pretend tht i'm invisible...i feel like not welcome by them..so sad....haiz...is it becoz i have broke a gul's heart...tht every1 have to think tht i'm bad?becoz i have several gf tht makes u think tht i'm playboy?not serious bout relationship?something tht cannot discover before they start thier relationship..once the relationship started..n u discover tht u cannot stand the gul...is better tell her the truth rather than continue the relationship..couple life is wat u learn n discover everything bout the other partner..once u cannot stand it..u can choose to leave or continue..but u choose to continue...u must think properly tht u really can stand it till both of u marry?i'm looking for my wife...the other partner tht willing to stay with me till we grow old...die...thts y once i know i cant stand it..i choose to leave..mayb i'm selfish..but if i don happy with it..it make the gul not happy too...y dont juz tell the truth n let her know early..so we still can b frens...i juz don get it...i don even have a relationship with 2 or more guls at the same time...i juz looking for my the other partner of my life...haiz..even my best fren don understand me...n i feel tht he has changed..or mayb i have changed...we cant really talk to each other anymore..instead of some bullshit things...haiz...this sem i feel lonely..sad...moody all the times...bout the gul i like...bout fren..bout classmates...omg..n i cant concentrate on studies...god...will u help me?pls let me know wat to do...i scare i cant stand it anymore...i got 2 years to go...n i feel like dying...walking dead in college...i try my best...i try to b nice to every1...but wat i get?nth...n every1 seems to like cl more than me...i think they hate me more then any1...this is my worst semester after all...wat to do?i pray for my the better day will come to me soon..mayb lucky day...n i miss u...so much...even i see u in my dreams...see u in the movies...haiz...but too bad...u have ur love 1...n i shall not spoil it...well..wat i can say is...god bless u...i hope i can see u smile everyday...thts enough for me...

i'm back...

finally...got my own blog now...a fool's blog...haha...wat should i write about?no one is gonna come here n read bout my blog also...but...this is the place where i can express my feelings...sadness,happiness,loneliness...like wat the hong kong drama...the scene tht the couples hurt each other...they blog and talk bout their feelings..especially the guy...title of the blog..days without my gul...is kind of sad...but it is so true...u blog not becoz u r sad...it is becoz u r lonely...i got tht feeling nowadays...since i have got into advanced...things have changed...buddies r not around...so many things need to think n settle...haiz...i feel like i have being miss out all the times..is it i not tht talkative?cant tell jokes?bored?must b...thts y i'm not welcome by others...they don think of me when there r interesting plans...wont ask u out...if anything need u to help them...they will come to u...wats tht man?i'm sick of it...every1 has a mask on thier face...i really don know who can b trusted n rely on...mayb thts juz a life of a fool should b...