wat i wan?

exam finally over...but i nvr stop of missing the gul...eventhough when i'm studying..i put her photo as my wallpaper...so when i free...i can look at her...we seldome chat on exam week..i know she need to study...concentrate...so do i...but everytime i juz cant stop myself...holding the phone...finish typing the msg..but scare disturb her...so i save in the draft box...haiz...she got bf...wat i wan actually?i keep thinking tht..u love a gul...not necessary to couple...most important is she happy bout her life...but i juz cant stop thinking bout her...when she dance with other guys in ruums...i jealous....n worried...haiz...wat i wan?!!!!i think of getting out of this...but i cant...i juz cant...when i tried...she will msg me...then i continue to b a fool...fool...wat i wan???i wan a gul tht i love...care bout me...love me....let me feel tht i very important for her...juz a simple thing...but i know wat u wan..u will nvr get tht...especially love...love...a miserable thing in human life...yet so sweet...yet so sad...haiz...sometimes i really think of being gay...at least i wont have any feel on guls...tht make u so pathetic...haiz...